What second date?

Humor & Wisdom: George Carlin

2008-06-27T12:18:00.000-07:00

To read the entire piece from the online political humor webline, please click here.

Log Cabin Republicans win in Romney's defeat

2008-02-12T16:02:00.001-08:00

Monday, February 11, 2008
Deb Price

"No, no, no," Mitt Romney supporters cried out at the Conservative Political Action Conference as he announced he was ending his campaign for the GOP presidential nomination.

A short distance away, a different reaction could be heard at the Washington, D.C., headquarters of the gay Log Cabin Republicans: "We did it!"

Romney had run a hard-right campaign. It was a losing strategy. Despite Romney's attacks on Sen. John McCain, primary voters picked the Goldilocks of the GOP presidential field:

In essence, McCain had said, "This side of my party is too soft. That side of my party is too hard. My own spot is just right.

To read the entire article from The Detroit News, please click hee.

update on Indiana custody & visitation case

2008-02-11T20:08:00.001-08:00

Follow-up on the long-running dispute involving a gay couple who unfortunately had not made provision for guardiaship.

"Brett and Patrick have spent 25 years
together as life partners - longer than
Patrick lived at home with his parents -
and their future life together has been
destroyed by Patrick's tragic medical
condition and by the Atkinses'
unwillingness to accept their son's
lifestyle," the Appeals Court ruling read.

To read lots about this tragic case, please click here.

Giddy 2006 predictions of gay rights advances gave way...

2007-12-14T16:47:00.000-08:00

EDITORIAL | washingtonblade.com

A disappointing year
Giddy 2006 predictions of gay rights advances gave way to a more sobering reality in 2007
By KEVIN NAFF, Dec. 14, 2007

There was a lot of celebrating when Democrats took control of both houses of Congress in the 2006 mid-term elections, followed by ebullient predictions of historic gay rights advances that would surely follow in 2007.

To read the entire editorial in The Washington Blade newspaper, pleaqse click here.

Mother of Ryan White wants to speak to Huckabee

2007-12-13T00:03:00.000-08:00

"Ryan White and his mother"
Wednesday, December 12, 2007 The Advocate
Jeanne White-Ginder, the mother of Ryan White -- who attracted nationwide attention after contracting HIV from a tainted blood treatment in 1984 and died at the age of 18 in 1990 -- said she welcomed the opportunity to speak with Republican Mike Huckabee to discuss his comments about AIDS.

To read the entire on-line article from The Advocate, please click here.

Boy Scouts Lose Philadelphia Lease in Gay-Rights Fight

2007-12-07T13:51:00.000-08:00

December 6, 2007

By IAN URBINA
PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 4 — For three years the Philadelphia council of the Boy Scouts of America held its ground. It resisted the city’s request to change its discriminatory policy toward gay people despite threats that if it did not do so, the city would evict the group from a municipal building where the Scouts have resided practically rent free since 1928.

To read the entire article in The New York Times, please click here.

What is Love? song by Josh Grobin

2007-11-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

Like the sound of silence calling, I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means. What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move. At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me, The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me, For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong. And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly, For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me, The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me, For a moment, there's no one else alive

[bridge:]
And this journey that we're on. How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me, That's all you have to say. I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me, the world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me, in that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me. When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

[lyrics from an online profile from guy in Oregon]

Sexual Preference...

2007-11-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

[1] "Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant." -- Doug Horton

Islam and homosexuality -- Wikipedia

2007-11-16T16:30:00.000-08:00

To read the entire entry at Wikipedia, please click here.

Gay Muslims Find Freedom, of a Sort, in the U.S.

2007-11-16T16:24:00.001-08:00

November 7, 2007

By NEIL MACFARQUHAR
SAN FRANCISCO — About 15 people marched alongside the Muslim float in this city’s notoriously fleshy Gay Pride Parade earlier this year, with various men carrying the flags of Egypt, Lebanon, Palestine and Turkey and even Iran’s old imperial banner.

While other floats featured men dancing in leather Speedos or women with scant duct tape over their nipples, many Muslims were disguised behind big sunglasses, fezzes or kaffiyehs wrapped around their heads.

To read the entire article in The New York Times, please click here.

"When I Knew"

2007-11-15T18:26:00.000-08:00

A book of stories and quotes from people when they realized they were gay. Edited by Robert Trachtenberg.

[1] "I knew I was gay when the most exciting part of my Bar Mitzvah was meeting with the party planner."

[2] "1969. My father was watching the evening news. The announcer said that Judy Garland had died. I fainted. I was nine." Andrew Freedman

[3] So, my mother began the conversaqtion. "Well, I was watching 'Oprah' last week, and the show was about married men who turned out to be gay." A lump sank through my throat. She continued, "And Oprah said something that made a lot of sense to me."

"If you walk like a duck and quack like a duck, usually you're a duck," recited my mother. I quickly closed my eyes and prayed for an opportunity to escape her presence, but she had somehow found the courage. "Are you a duck, Darin?" Darin Johnson

[4] "When my mom told me on the phone that she and dad had just seen the movie 'Philadelphia' I knew it was time. I asked her if she was sitting down. She knew right away what I was about to tell her, and immediately shouted "...Oh, no, but you watch football!" Larry Wiedemann

[5] "1967. I was lying on the floor of the livingroom, watching an episode of the 'Tarzan' series. I kept sliding closer to the TV, sort of looking under it, trying to see under Tarzan's loincloth. Seven years old, go figure." Jeff Judd

2005 Los Angeles PRIDE

2007-11-14T22:59:00.001-08:00

Charlie and poster of porn star Rusty Joiner

Battle Between Gay Man & Sick Partner's Family

2007-11-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

Battle Between Gay Man & Sick Partner's Family Highlights Lack Of Same-Sex Couple Rights
by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff

August 6, 2007

(Indianapolis, Indiana) For a quarter century Patrick Atkins and Brett Conrad shared their lives including a home and bank accounts but when Atkins fell near fatally ill Conrad discovered he had no rights in determining the care or who would deliver it to his ailing partner.

To read the entire article, please click here.

Average Male Penis Size

2007-11-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

From Ramone Johnson,
Your Guide to Gay Life.

The Truth About Normal Penis Size

The average penis is five to seven inches (127 to 178 mm)long when erect (measured from the tip of the penis head to the abdomen).

The average circumference of a penis is near 5 inches or 127 mm around.

You can't judge the true size of a penis while it is flaccid or not erect. Sometimes guys with relatively small flaccid penises grow to a larger size when erect, while their larger counterparts don't show as much growth when aroused. Thus the terms, grower and shower.

To read the entire article and to check out Ramone Johnson's online news and information for gays, please click here.

Lesbian priests pair eliminated from "Amazing Race"

2007-11-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

Slow and steady did not win ''The Amazing Race'' for Kate Lewis and Pat Hendrickson. The reality series' first-ever lesbian couple was eliminated in Amsterdam during Sunday's episode after losing precious time during a challenge scouring through thousands of bicycles for a color-coded tag.

To read the entire news item, please click here.

I know a celebrity! While attending All Souls Episcopal Church in Santa Monica, California 2004-2006, Pat was our associate pastor. (She's on the left in the photograph.)

What the Bible really says about homosexuality

2007-11-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

"What the Bible really says about homosexuality"

Author is Daniel A. Helminiak, PhD, has written a short (149 pages) book because frankly there's not a lot to say. It's like the little pamphlett entitled "What Jesus said about gays" and of course the book's pages are entirely BLANK.

Here's an excerpt: "According to faith, it is God who creates us. Divine Providence forms us as we are. Our genes, our temperments, our time and place in history, our talents, our gifts, our strengths and weaknesses--all are part of God's inscrutable and loving plan for us. So somehow God must be behind the fact that some people are homosexual. They why should God's word in the Bible condemn homosexuality? There must be a mistake in the reasoning somewhere."

I remember sitting on a long airplane ride and talking about gayness and acceptance with two faculty members of a Baptist university. I found it a refreshing and honest exchange. They were open, relaxed and intellectually interested. They worked with students struggling with questions of sexual identity.

One of my favorite pix...

2007-11-13T17:33:00.000-08:00

Wisdom and humor

2007-11-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

[1] "Never Allow Someone To Be Your Priority While You Remain Their Option" by an anonymous blogger.

[2] "Friday/ in the mosque/ my gaze fell upon a slim young man/ beautiful/ as the rising moon./ When he bent forward in prayer/ my only thought was/ oh, to have him/ stretched out/ flat before me,/ butt-up,/ face-down. -- Author Jonathan Margolis quotes a poem by a 12th century poet in Spain, Muhammad ibn Malik [source Wikipedia]

[3] A recurring theme in gay sex is that what you're presently engaged in can almost always be desirably expanded upon. It recalls a moment in history when, about 1900, a reporter asked the founder of the American labor movement what his philosophy was re the labor movement. Gompers replied: "More"." from John U.

2007-11-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

Father of slain Marine wins case against funeral protesters

Pa. man awarded $2.9 million in compensatory damage

A Baltimore federal jury awarded nearly $11 million Wednesday to the father of a Marine killed in Iraq, deciding that the family's privacy had been invaded by a Kansas church whose members waved anti-gay signs at the funeral.

It was the first-ever verdict against Westboro Baptist Church, a fundamentalist Christian group based in Topeka that has protested military funerals across the country with placards bearing shock-value messages such as "Thank God for dead soldiers."

They contend that the deaths are punishment for America's tolerance of homosexuality and of gays in the military.

To read the entire article from The Baltimore Sun, please click here.

Haggard Pronounced ‘Completely Heterosexual’ February 6, 2007

2007-10-31T12:07:00.001-07:00

DENVER (AP) -- One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is ''completely heterosexual.''

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

''He is completely heterosexual,'' Ralph said. ''That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.

Why do straight people hate us?

2007-10-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 by The Los Angeles Times

An Aging 72-year-old Gay Man Isn't Hopeful About The Future.
by Larry Kramer

DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE,

Why do you hate gay people so much?

Gays are hated. Prove me wrong. Your top general just called us immoral. Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some fighting for our country in Iraq. A right-wing political commentator, Ann Coulter, gets away with calling a straight presidential candidate a faggot. Even Garrison Keillor, of all people, is making really tacky jokes about gay parents in his column.

This, I guess, does not qualify as hate except that it is so distasteful and dumb, often a first step on the way to hate. Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama tried to duck the questions that Pace's bigotry raised, confirming what gay people know: that there is not one candidate running for public office anywhere who dares to come right out, unequivocally, and say decent, supportive things about us.

To read the entire article in the Los Angeles Times, please click here.

Greatest excuse lines...

2007-10-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some great excuse lines...

[1] "Not into hugging or kissing, consider myself hetero, just bi below the belt." -----from an Asian guy in Texas who was seeking sex partners on a gay sex site.

[2] "I'm very flattered by your attention, thank you. You're a very tempting hottie, love that fine hole of yours!"

"Yet, I'm sorry to say I'm just not ready for another intimate encounter with no strings. I'm looking for more of an equal partner for my life. You have yours, and I want mine. I'm a passionate lover and don't perform well without an emotional & spiritual connection. There's really nothing casual about my sexuality any longer."

"Sorry to waffle around on you, but better for me to stay focused on my goal of finding Mr. Right. Rebound sex would not be good for me right now." -----forwarded by a friend who corresponded at length with a guy, never met face-to-face, and then received this long note.

Does "down-low" behavior increase the risk of HIV?

2007-10-17T10:43:00.001-07:00

From Ramone Johnson,Your Guide to Gay Life.

Is the "Down Low" Theory Racist?

The dark cloud of HIV continues to hover over the African-American community. African-Americans make up a mere 12.3% of the US population, but account for 50% of the new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in the United States (2000 Census). African-American men primarily contract HIV through contact with other men, while the primary mode of transmissions for African-American women is through heterosexual contact. Unfortunately, messages of prevention and a real viable solution to these alarming numbers are muffled by the blame game over who's at fault. Are so-called men on the down low the problem? Are all gay men at fault under the perception that the entire community is the root of the virus, even though it's been proven otherwise? Can we ignore the women who refuse to protect themselves by repeatedly putting their health in the hands of other people—gay or straight?

According to HIV/AIDS Guide Mark Cichocki, "For years, experts have attributed the high rate of HIV among African American women to a behavior that has been called "being on the down low". The basic contention is that African American men have sex with other men then come home to their wives or girlfriends and infect them with HIV, never having told them that they have unprotected sex with other men."As our collective fingers collide over who's at fault—mainly pointing in the direction of African-American men on the down low—misconceptions manifest throughout the general population and the research community.

There is also an innate assumption that men who secretly having sex with other men is a problem exclusive to the African-American community. Mark Cichocki points to an article written by Anne Harding on how the "down low myth" incorrectly plays the race card and how by doing so it distorts HIV research and prevention.

In her article "Down low” myth distorts HIV research, prevention, Harding cites Dr. Chandra L. Ford of Columbia University in New York City. Ford wrote in a Annals of Epidemiology article:
"Part of what has happened as a result of that initial burst of stories reporting the 'down low' is that those stories often tied the down low to high rates of HIV infection among African-American women, which was not supported by epidemiological data," Ford added. "There were a lot of assumptions, there were a lot of leaps of faith that led to that."

Anne Harding continues Dr. Ford's point, "The practice of straight men secretly having sex with men is seen across all ethnic groups. While black men and women have higher rates of HIV infection than other ethnic groups, they also report fewer risk behaviors, suggesting researchers should look elsewhere to understand the disparity. For example, having a bacterial sexually transmitted infection can increase the risk of both transmitting and contracting HIV, and it is possible such infections may be more common among blacks than whites due to poorer access to health care. The view of black sexuality as deviant and diseased has deep roots, Ford noted, pointing to the way the public and the medical community viewed syphilis in the early 20th century as a disease of the black community."

New study on "friends with benefits"

2007-10-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

Editor's comment: The study looks at heterosexual college students. Do the same results occur with gay couples?

October 2, 2007 from the New York Times
Friends With Benefits, and Stress Too

By BENEDICT CAREY

To some, it may seem like an ideal relationship, less stressful than an affair, longer lived than a fling or that elusive one-night stand. You can even sit around in your sweats and watch “Friends” reruns together, feeling vaguely reassured.

Yet relationships in which close friends begin having sex come with their own brand of awkwardness, according to the first study to explore the dynamics of such pairs, often called friends with benefits, or F.W.B..

The relationships tend to have little romantic passion, but stir the same fears that stalk lovers: namely, that one person will fall harder than the other.
Paradoxically, and perhaps predictably, the study suggests, these physical friendships often occlude one of the emotional arteries of real friendship, openness. Friends who could once talk about anything now have an unstated taboo topic — the relationship itself. In every conversation, there is innuendo; in every room, an elephant.

The research, conducted among Michigan State University students, confirmed previous findings that most college students report having had at least one such relationship. Although that is undoubtedly true of many couples throughout history, “friends with benefits” have become a cultural signature of today’s college and postcollege experience.

“The study really adds to the little we know about these relationships,” said Paul Mongeau, a professor of communications at Arizona State University who was not involved in the research. “One of the most interesting things I get from it,” he said, “is this sense that people in these relationships are afraid to develop feelings for the other person, because those feelings might be unreciprocated.”

In the study, appearing in the current issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior, Melissa Bisson, a former graduate student at Michigan State, and Timothy Levine, a professor in the communications department, surveyed 125 young men and women and found that 60 percent reported having had at least one friend with benefits.

One-tenth of these relationships went on to become full-scale romances, the study found. About a third stopped the sex and remained friends, and one in four eventually broke it off — the sex and the friendship. The rest continued as friends-with-benefits relationships.

In a follow-up study, the researchers gave 90 students who reported having at least one such relationship a battery of questionnaires asking about passion, commitment and communication.
“We found,” Dr. Levine said, “that people got into these relationships because they didn’t want commitment. It was perceived as a safe relationship, at least at first. But also that there was this growing fear that the one person would become more attracted than the other.”

Yet, he added, the overall qualities of the relationships appeared to be true to the name. On standard psychological measures, they appeared more like friendships than romances.
Friends with benefits scored in the middle on a scale assessing intimacy and low on passion and commitment, the study found. “When scores were compared to previous findings with romantic couples, scores on all three dimensions were lower, with the largest differences observed in commitment followed by passion,” the authors wrote.

The relationships may be less common than reported. “Friends with benefits” appears to have become an umbrella term for a wide variety of sexual arrangements, some of which are quite familiar, Dr. Mongeau said.

In addition to budding romances, he said, the “friends” may also be former lovers who occasionally see each other or they may be people who hang out at the same places and now and then end up wrapped around each other, even though they are not really friends.

Dr. Mongeau said the study seemed to have captured the dissonant, circular thinking that characterized what it felt like for a friendship to enter treacherous territory.

“There’s clearly a strong desire to be with this other person, who fills important needs,” he added. “But at the same time, it’s as if I’m saying, ‘O.K., I’m not going to get passionately involved — because then it’s at risk of being a real romance.’”

Do you have some good cartoons for the blog?

2007-10-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

Do you have some good cartoons for the blog? Let me know. Thanks. Charlie

What second date?

2007-09-03T18:43:00.000-07:00

As a gay man with loads of gay friends I am acutely aware of the terrors of gay dating. The old joke seems most apt: "What do lesbians do on their second date? Rent a U-haul truck. What do gay men do on the second date? What second date?!"

Chatting with friends in our new home of Portland Oregon this Labor Day Weekend 2007 after hearing all sorts of stories about broken hearts and broken dreams, I blurted out that I would be writing a blog to show gay men that they are not alone when a date fizzles. So here it is.

Why do things go to dust after an intoxicating first contact? We're working on the answers, but first some of the excuses:

The Rugs. After weeks of intense and personal phone sex with a guy in the Maryland suburbs, a Saturday date got cancelled when he said he needed to shampoo his rugs. And after that zero contact.

Car trouble. A Boston dude phoned to say his car broke down/was stolen. I forget which, but we never met.